


can you blame me

by thats_so_riri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Implied Sexual Content, akaashi is your editor because why not, another song fic really, atsumu is an asshole but whats new, one day ill learn to tag, reader is a writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24156367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_so_riri/pseuds/thats_so_riri
Summary: “Can you blame me for needing you” Atsumu drives you crazy. Your relationship is far from perfect, but you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. Basically looks into your relationship with Atsumu through the eyes of your poem. (Writer!reader)
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	can you blame me

**Author's Note:**

> the beginning word texts are the song that the relationship is based off of (also the poem that writer reader has written and because I cant text romat its indicated by "-"yeah and theres a poem in the middle indicated by '. Lastly this is crossposted on my tumblr. Check end for more notes

**I need you here, my safe haven**   
**Rather go at it than not speak at all**   
**How you made me feel, it was dangerous**

Camera flashes give you headaches. They were too bright, too frequent, too annoying. How anyone could ever really get used to is beyond you. However, you’d rather suffer through the pain and pending headache than allow Atsumu to help guide you through the people that had gathered outside. He’d recently been crowned Hottest Athlete Under 30. The title of course came with a multi spread magazine feature. Photo shoots, interview, the whole 9 yards. The day you two found out had been on a rare day off for you both. A famous athlete and famous writer ever having time for one another was a joke in itself. But that much needed day had finally happened. He had the next few days off, and you’d just gotten back from a week-long promotional tour. Lounging in bed, half naked, movie playing in the background as you two just talked. It had felt like heaven.

—  
“Wanna know my favorite piece out of your book”

“I’m surprised you read it,” you teased laughing at the light swat on your leg. “Of course I read it. M’not that big an asshole”

“Courtesy Of Bokuto-“

The two of you briefly went on a tangent about how the happily oblivious man was part of the reason your boyfriend was even tolerable to anyone outside of his circle. His initial attempt at intimidating had failed so bad, and his teammate just continued to be happy, nice and positive. Eventually Atsumu, even found himself acting a little nicer.

“It’s _Can You Blame Me_ y’know.” A knowing smile graced your face.The poem had been one inspired completely by your relationship with Atsumu. One that had been a whirlwind of emotions, filled with ups and downs but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You’re my safe haven too.”  
—

The feel of Atsumu’s hand falling on your lower back almost caused you to halt, but he only attempted to push you through faster, a silent command telling you not to make a fucking scene in front of all these cameras. As you approached the black SUV you smiled gratefully at the driver before knocking the hand off your back and clamoring into the back seat, moving as close to the other window and as far away from Atsumu as possible. The minute the door closed behind him, the lazy smile he’d had dropped and a scowl appeared on his face at all. You heard the annoying huff from the side of you and responded pulling out your earbuds in preparation for the two hour journey back to his place. “Are you fucking serious (Y/N).” Despite his words, he’d decided to pull out his own phone as well as an eye mask. If you two weren’t going to be talking he could at least get a small nap. You’d both deal with your shit later. He was unsurprisingly met with silence as you placed the buds in your ear and the last thing you heard from the man next you was was a nasty “whatever”

This silent treatment had gone on for too long. Not hearing your voice, even if you were arguing was starting to drive him up the walls. Atsumu couldn’t even remember why the shit started and was positive that you couldn’t either. He knew the minute you two got back you’d be in your car and heading back to your own place. To be honest he wasn’t surprised when you knocked on his door this morning, brushing past him without so much of a hello to wait in the living room. No matter how much he grates at your nerves, you never willingly miss his big moments. Instead, you’d continue petty habits picked up from him..

“Are you done with your little temper tantrum yet.” The two of you were nearly at your destination, and Atsumu had enough.

“As if you don’t throw them all the time.” You’d finally spoken to him. After three long days of silence you at least acknowledged him. A mental tug-o-war overtook his mind. Say what he really wanted to say which would definitely piss you off further or to try and make up because he hated sleeping alone.

Swallowing his pride, Atsumu finally broke. “There’s that pretty little voice of yours. Now what do you say instead of you sleeping in your cold little bed tonight, you stay over at mine and I keep you warm.” Taking another leap of faith, he decided to grab the hand lingering at your side, fingers rubbing mindless shapes over the back. “You can even tell me all the things you hate about me baby.”

“You’re an asshole.” The twitch in your lips hadn’t been lost on him. Nor had you pulled your hand away. Just a few more pushes. A lazy smile graced his lips, and before you could process the click of his seat belt, he’d shifted over, sitting directly next to you. “And you’re worse. Now whaddya say (Y/N). Are you _coming_.” The double meaning settled in the air as you the hand previously holding yours settled itself on your thigh, gripping the flesh.

“I say put your seat belt on.” The way you somehow ended up straddling his lap, lips pressed roughly against his gave Atsumu the answer he needed. “This is dangerous, “ you muttered as his lips attached themselves to the side of your neck. He Despite your words, your body had a mind of its own. Heart racing, any sense of rationality gone. With hips grinding lightly into his, the hands on your ass. “We’ve got about 15 minutes.” Thank god for partitions.

—  
 **I would rather argue than me sleep alone**  
 **Rather call you out than no one call my phone**  
 **Hold my grudge instead of having’ none to hold, none to hold**

“Tsumu. Babe. Honey. My love,” you whined out standing to block the TV . Each name getting sweeter, yet you still got nothing aside from the pout that seemed permanently etched onto your boyfriend’s face. “Tsumu I said I was sorry. I didn’t know that was the last one.” Still nothing. This time you reached your hands towards his folded ones in an attempt to pull him off of the couch. “C’mon Atsumu, I wanna go to bed-”

“Then go. Ya don’t need me to sleep,” your boyfriend huffed, still firmly planted onto the couch. “Quit being a baby. Osamu will be back in a few days and he can make you some more onigiri,” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. All this because you ate the last one. This time you reached for his other hand and attempted to use all your strength to pull him up.You were able to get him to move all of 2 centimetres for a few seconds before seeing it was useless. Deciding to go back to your overly nice act you plopped yourself sideways on his lap. “Ok Tsumu. How about I try to make you some more-”

“Yours aren’t the same”

“Anyways,” you rolled your eyes and continued. “How about I make you some more and that that cake you like. You know, the double layered, with the frosting”

“Fine.” Victory. Getting up you reached for his hand, smiling at his compliance, before heading off towards the bedroom.

“I can’t believe you were holding a grudge over fucking rice,” Too bad you couldn’t see the smirk on his face. Now he’s getting more onigiri (granted not as good as his brother’s, and he had no problem telling you that), and now some cake.

—  
 **Could you blame me for needing you**  
 **You’re the reason I got a weakness**  
 **You drive me crazy, still that’s my baby**  
 **Can’t get enough of you-**

“Hey (Y/N), whats up,” your dramatic groan over the phone line, did nothing to worry the blonde man.

“I’m so fucking uninspired. I promised my editor I’d have a piece finished by tomorrow. And guess what-”

“It’s not done. Well what do ya want me to do.” That only caused you to groan again. He was useless when it came to this. This time your whine about being serious. From the other end of the phone you could hear some shuffling before Atsumu spoke. “Alright I was just gaming, but I’m coming over. Be there soon.”

—

“You look terrible,” your boyfriend teased as he followed you back towards your room. Your calling him an asshole left him unaffected as he settled on your bed eying the words pulled up on your laptop.

_'Can it get any higher_   
_Might be losing my fire_   
_Stick to what you know_   
_They keep me safe._   
_Nothing is promised, but I’m impulsive'_

After reading the words, he handed the laptop back to you and eyed you weirdly. “So what’s wrong with it,” your boyfriend answered boredly, resulting in the light punch from you. “Dude, it’s like unfinished. It just sounds so off,” you emphasized. You’d started this piece over at least a hundred times. Not to mention your editor, Akaashi had been asking you for some more pieces for the past two weeks. You could only put it off for so long. “Akaashi finished editing the last set of pieces weeks ago and if I can’t get my shit together we’ll both look like dumbasses in front of the publishers next week.”

“And you called me for help. You’re so cute when you’re needy.” As you were contemplating smothering the man beside you with a pillow, the laptop had been taken from you and the sound of tapping filled your ears. “Tsumu what are you-” “Shh I’m working my magic. You said you were uninspired right?” After nodding you sat quietly for a few minutes as you allowed him to have free reign. Occasionally you got a few questions about why you were feeling uninspired, how you normally feel writing, anything to help him get a feel for what he wanted to do.

“I feel like I always stay in my comfort zone when it comes to my writing. Like when you’re playing volleyball, it’s hard to get comfortable. You’re always facing new challenges. But with my writing- I just get so caught up in trying to write shit that people want to read.”

“When I write something that I’m proud of its like I’m riding on a complete high-”-

“Similar to how you feel riding me right,” your boyfriend teased. “I wonder how I haven’t gone fucking crazy dating you”

You started dozing off, before Atsumu’s knee nudged yours. Handing you off the computer you read the words eyes widening.

_'Can it get any higher_   
_Might be losing my fire_   
_Hate to live so uninspired_   
_How long should I wait_   
_In comfort zones to keep me safe_   
_To make sure I touch every base_   
_Ain’t nothing promised, ain’t never been so,_   
_Stick to what you know, it ain’t that simple._   
_I’m impulsive_   
_I think about it_   
_But I’ve been running off of a feeling_   
_I’m always climbing mountains_   
_And the top is so appealing_   
_I guess I’m scared if I give too much,_   
_That I might never be enough.'_

“Tsumu. This is amazing,” you closed your laptop, shifting onto your knees enough to wrap your arms around him in a hug instead, him reciprocating. “You know- if this whole volleyball thing doesn’t work you might be able to make it as a writer,” you teased pulling back.

“Don’t ask me for this again. It made my fuckin’ brain hurt trying to think of words.” Despite what he said, you smiled as he leaned in to place a light kiss on your lips. “Love you Tsumu.” Atsumu completely saved your ass tonight, and you two wrote a beautiful piece together. That thought alone made you giddy.You couldn’t have done it without him. Sometimes it was scary how much you needed him.

—  
 **-Blowing my phone up**  
 **Hoping you decide to just show up**  
 **Rather say it all to your face**  
 **I’d rather we act like grown ups-**

“Are you sure you don’t want to answer that,” Akaashi notes, eyes glancing at your phone which has lit up for at least the 5th time in the past 10 minutes. “It might be urgent,” he continues as you decide to just place your phone face down. “It’s just Atsumu. Trying to do a shitty phone apology,” you roll your eyes. Your editor gives you a questioning glance, prepared to either let you vent it out as a friend, or move on with your work meeting as your business partner, You chose the former.

“You know that big game the boys have next month,” you grumble. Akaashi nods, remembering it in some ramble by Bokuto a few weeks prior. “Yeah isn’t it on the- Oh.”

“Yeah,” you nod. The day of the game was the day of your book release event. Meaning Atsumu couldn’t make it. “The game isn’t the problem. I understand, of course. I found out through a promotional flyer on instagram. The jerk didn’t even tell me himself.” There it was. The real reason you were upset.

“That’s pretty shitty. What are you going to do,” Akaashi asks. He already knew about the match, and the release, and figured you did too. Afterall, you were dating one of the starting players.

“I told him it was fine, hung up the phone then came straight here. He hasn’t stopped sending stupid sorry texts since. The calling is a new development.”

“You were passive aggressive weren’t you,” the man deadpanned seeing right through your casual dismissal. After being your editor for the past three years, he’s gotten to not only read your deepest thoughts, but get to know you first hand.

“Don’t look at me like that Akaashi,” once he said nothing you continued. “Ok maybe a little. But I had to find out online, and then call him about it. When I mentioned it he gave me some bs about needing to find the right time. It’s in three weeks,” you quietly exclaimed out.

“If I were in your position, I wouldn’t have brought it up over the phone. You two should talk it out in person, like grown ups.”

“I hate when you’re right you know,” you both chuckle. You’re confused as you see Akaashi start to get up. You two hadn’t talked about actual business so where could he be going. He pointed to the other side of the coffee shop, “I’ll just wait there until you’re done.”

“Akaashi where are you-” the words died on your mouth as your editor walked away and your boyfriend settled into the seat in front of you.

“I know you hate my phone apologies, so I’m sorry. I love you, now let’s talk.”

**Sometimes, I block all your calls**   
**You start hitting’ my girls up**   
**Talking’ ‘about, "Where’s my baby?”**   
**And that’s when I soften up**

Atsumu noticed your departure sooner than you assumed. He figured you had just needed some air. However, he didn’t know you had left the club for good, until an hour had gone by since he’d last seen you. The only thing that eased his worry was the fact that he’d seen you leave with your friends. Downing another shot, he’d grown bored without you here by his side and decided to excuse himself. Ignoring the hoots of his friends telling him to get some, and completely walking past the random girl that had tried to attach herself to his hip for the night, he’d made his way outside and pulled out his phone.

No answer. Your phone had gone straight to voicemail. “Shit.” This time he attempted to track your location using find my friends, but came up empty. You either temporarily blocked him, or your phone had died. Both options were likely, and both annoyed him. Both meant he couldn’t get in contact with you.

You on the other hand, laughed as you danced with your friends.The strobe lights, drinks in your system and pounding bass had you on cloud nine. Being at the bar in a private section had lost its appeal early on in your relationship with Atsumu. Sure it was nice sometimes when you actually wanted to get conversation in, less so when Atsumu and the rest of the guys, had both guys and girls hanging off of them. Hence why you had left. However, the night was still young and you looked too damn good to just go home.

As the current song ended, your friend yelled about going to get fresh air. You passed the message to your other friend before the three of you joined hands pushing your way through packed bodies to head to the outdoor porch area. You’d only been outside a few minutes before your friend got a phone call, stepping away from you all to take it. It was probably whatever friend of Atsumu’s they’d been sleeping around it that you all had ditched.

“(Y/N), it’s for you,” raising your eyebrows you noticed the mouthing of your boyfriend’s name before grabbing the phone and taking your friend’s spot.

“Hey Tsumu”, you sighed. Your alcohol had started wearing off and you were no longer under the high of the neon lights and definitely not in the mood to argue. A silence filled the other end of the line, Atsumu seemingly, feeling that you were gonna step down from the war you’d initially declared

.”Where are ya,” he sighed. “Shits no fun without you here.”

“I’m surprised you even noticed I left. You seemed to be having fun before.” Your words came out more bitterly than you intended and you hoped that you didn’t just accidentally bait Atsumu into retaliating.”

“You’re not doing this shit tonight.”Too late, you thought. You wanted a war by blocking him and you got it. “I always notice when you’re gone. Now, if you’re done for the night, I’d really like to know where you were so I could come pick ya up and we could head home together.”

“Yeah that sounds good. I’m sorry Tsumu,” after revealing that you’d only gone to the club a few blocks down, you looked towards your friends who had knowing smiles. You were done for the night. “Oh, and I love you,” you added on before hanging up.

**Author's Note:**

> This is similar to my "no limit to u" Sakusa piece, just structured differently. This was another longer dumpster fire whirlwind piece by me. Its based on Can You Blame Me by Kehlani. The poem Atsumu helped write is the song Moveon by Jordan Ward. I considered using one of my own pieces but i want to self publish and yeah getting linked to this blog? id die really. 
> 
> my tumblr is: scandeniall because I post there first and tend to get around to cross positing days later


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